Up at 1:30 am doing what I do best these days.

Worry.

I’m getting old.

I’m primarily worried about:

My future. 

Here I am in Singapore. It’s a nice place. Safe. Relatively clean. Small. Convenient. Expensive though. 

It will get more expensive as our government is run like a business that has monopoly over EVERYTHING if you think about it. 

They even have control of your pension. How’d you like that?!

Your money isn’t really your money in Singapore. You work, you pay tax, the government takes away some more as “CPF” which is basically a savings account without interest every year. The $2k salary you bring home, half is used to pay the bills and the other half to feed your family. Taking a loan that takes about 20 years to pay off, you buy a house from the HDB which isn’t really your house. More like a lump sump of rent. If you want a car, you’ll be living in perpetual debt unless you are well off.

It’s worrying if you really think about it.

I’m not rich, not particularly talented, not good looking, not athletic and not the smartest guy in class. I’ve no special qualities that sets me apart from the rest. 

I haven’t gone through NS & I’ll start my career late because of it. It’s a grim start. NS is a waste of time. I’ll never defend this country with it’s existing rulers. I’ll just gather my family and friends and leg it. This land has taken so much from its people. We have been shortchanged. What you have now, you have slogged for. 

If I do start a family, I worry about supporting them. Of course I’ll have no doubt that I’ll work hard for them but I’m starting to wonder if hard work alone is enough. 

Prices keep rising. The COE for a car now is ridiculous. A car sold in the UK for GBP40,000 is over SGD200,000 here. That is without road tax, ERP, fuel, maintenance, insurance and parking. Bullshit, really. 

Some 10 years ago, $3.50 can buy you a bowl of mee rebus and a drink. $3.50 now can barely get you a bowl of noodles in some places. 

I worry about Singapore itself. Our society is becoming one that is selfish, rude, inconsiderate and impatient. I am no exception. Modern comforts have made our lives easier but made us poorer people. Every one of us is fighting for places. Jobs, education, space on the road, homes and seats on the overcrowded train. Everyone is looking out only for themselves. There is no community. There is no unity. We are bound by a single common aim; To improve our standards of living, to obtain enough money to afford luxuries, to survive.

We live in harmony divided. There is distrust among the locals and among the foreigners.  Inequality and discrimination exists everywhere. The line “Regardless of race language and religion” in our national pledge should be eradicated. A land of equal opportunity Singapore is not.

I’m worried.

How hard will I have to work?

How will I survive, if not live?

Will my efforts be enough?

Look at what I’m worried about.

Myself. My family. 

This country is a harsh place to live in. It’s a war zone out there. Yes, we have prospered but at what cost?

I doubt I will even have the luxury of worrying about my friends. 

We are Singaporeans.

We are ugly.

We are spoilt.

We are weak.

We are stupid.

We know our country, once properly united, once properly content if not really a modern city, is crumbling.

Yet we aren’t doing anything about it.

We fear a real fear.

When will we rise against?

Hustlin’ hustlin’ hustle.

Currently: Waiting for midnight. Sick. 

Enjoying: The fact that I’m back in SG

Not so much: Being sick

Went to Genting. (Wooo?) I’m not so keen on amusement parks. They’re basically expensive hydraulic playgrounds to me. I like playgrounds. I don’t like to pay to play in playgrounds.

Of all the rides, I liked the karts the most. It could be better as always the case when you’re in Malaysia though. I had a poor start due to some idiot driver stalling in front of me. I wanted to run over the marshal but thought the better of it.

I’m a good driver (by general Malaysian amusement park visitor standards) and drove my lousy kart up the rankings. I started second last. Finished 6th out of 14th. If only Ida didn’t get in my way at the last corner. Wrecked my line.

Oh yes, flirtatious cinema box office attendants. No, they didn’t get to keep my change. The movie sucked because Ida and Venu are mesmerised by B grade scripts and story lines. (Why do Greek gods even have a problem with each other?)

Anyway,

Good things about Genting:

Properly beautiful scenery

Great weather most of the time

They have animal hats which I bought

You can dress like Wolverine which I did

Abundance of food and Initial D racing video game machines

No need for air-conditioning

Bad things about Genting:

You can only get there by a dumb super long bus ride, an expensive taxi or a dodgy cable car 

Food is ridiculously expensive and not half as good

Everything else is expensive

Limited shopping

No supermarket

I don’t think they clean the rides at all

Lack of Wifi hotspots

I’m now hoping to get NS done and over with. It is a complete waste of time but a necessary waste of time because the gahmen is too stupid to realize that out of every 1 truly patriotic Singaporean son now, there are about 5 lads who’ll be glad to shoot the fella in the face if it means the end to a war.

I’ve been dreaming up of a bicycle build and how it will be awesome to have that bicycle built during NS when I have pay and have almost nothing to spend on.

Here’s the list of future expenditure 

Bianchi (bian-ki!) Super Pista/Pista Concept/Pista frameset (Might want a carbon fork) for $1400

Aerospokes for $900 or Velocity Deep Vs with Formulas for around $400 or some Miche Super Pistas for around the same price. 

Nitto/FSA/Cinelli Drops for $200

Wellgo pedals for $55

Paul Cranks (Royal Flush cause I’m flashy) for $400 or a Sugino Track set for around the same price

Miche Rear cog for $50 

Some nice head & tail lights for $100

Brooks saddle for $300

Which will place it in the 2k zone. 

I’d like to go fast in style and relative comfort.

With the current bike, it’s all style & comfort.

one of my favourite flamboyant-sexy-man (s)

Now I’ll need leg strength like this guy! Sir Chris Hoy!

During NS, I can go “Takya tembak, terajang je!”